Falling Backwards
by beatlejuice2712
Summary: The veil in the Department of Mysteries is a time-turner, and Sirius Black has seen the future. So he's going to change the past. (Mini-sequel/alternate ending to Past The Veil.)
1. Chapter 1

_So there were two ideas I was torn between for the ending of Past The Veil. I went with the happy ending, because Sirius had been through enough and as Sirius thinks in P.T.V, 'where was the salvation he was owed?', so he got the nice ending._

 _But I'd written a little of the alternate ending and just decided to finish it to see where it went. It's a little bittersweet, sort-of sad, strays into AU territory, and is one for the Lupin fans._

 _If you have read Past The Veil, this carries on from the end of chapter thirty two and is an alternate to chapter thirty three._

 _If you haven't read Past The Veil, to summarise, Sirius falls through the veil and finds himself sixteen years in the future because the veil is a time turner, and this story carries on from Sirius returning to the veil and wondering what will happen if he steps back through._

* * *

From Past The Veil Chapter Thirty Two (abridged)

 _He could see the sheet of cloth rippling in the archway, and Sirius knew that this time, it was different. There was something on the other side. When he had first fallen through, he had held the sheet back and thought that nothing was there, but now it had changed._

 _Would the veil lead him somewhere else? Would it lead him back, or would he head even further into the future?_

 _He'd disappear from the past and this future timeline. But really, was it any worse than now? If he went further forward, he'd still feel as out of place. And if he never came out- well, at least he'd have good company._

 _What was really behind the veil?_

 _Not for the first time, the voices of his friends were whispering the answer in his ear. He summoned all his courage. Reaching out a shaking hand, he held the veil aside, and stepped through._

* * *

Chapter One

The veil fell behind him with an ominous stillness. He stumbled forward, blinking heavily to adjust to the dark room, to see through the smoke that seemed to cling to the air. It was dim and the archway stood behind him, with stone steps layered all around. It was the very same room, but it was no longer deserted and still; it was alive, inhabited.

He had returned to the very scene he had left behind so long ago.

It was the end of the battle, the Death Eaters were grouped motionless to one side oblivious to his reappearance, Harry had disappeared. There was laboured breathing coming from across the room and someone was talking calmly. Sirius coughed on the smoke and walked forwards, the soles of his shoes tapping against the cobbled floor, and the voice stilled. A wooden wand clattered against the stone floor as it was picked up, held out in caution. Sirius willed his legs to move as he swiped at the air to bat away the clouds of smoke distorting his view.

A lone voice echoed through the dark, the great stone surroundings of the room giving it a faraway, hollow sound. "Sirius?"

It took him a moment to remember that this was a timeline in which everyone had just witnessed him fall through the veil seemingly to his death; in this world, he was still a fugitive trapped in his mother's house, and he was now standing in the Ministry of Magic which he knew- due to Harry's recollections- was filled with the Minister and countless Aurors upstairs. He pulled himself up to his full height, and he seized his senses. He shook his head as if to shake out the foggy feeling he felt. "Disillusion me, Remus!" He called back immediately, sounding strained.

"Sirius?" Lupin repeated. "Is that you? What happened? The veil-"

"No," Sirius interrupted, striding towards his friend. "Not now. Disillusion me."

"You're not dead?"

"Disillusion me. Quick!" Sirius grabbed Lupin by the shoulders and he flinched, surprised, as if he had been expecting Sirius's hands to float across him like a ghost. "We're in the Ministry, Remus!" He urged. "The place is filled with Ministry officials! If they see Voldemort and me in the same place, I'll be back in Azkaban!"

"Voldemort?" Lupin stuttered. "In the same place? He's here?"

"Remus! Disillusion me!"

Lupin's arm shook as he lifted his wand over Sirius's head, and Sirius felt as if a stream of water was passing over him as he slowly disappeared from sight. He grabbed Lupin's arm again and tapped it twice in thanks- a trick that had always been James's when he had been hidden under his cloak, and he hoped Lupin still remembered. There was a shadow of something behind Lupin's eyes, and Sirius looked down to see Tonks lying motionless on the ground, and knowing everything he did now- knowing the future, knowing Teddy- Sirius felt as if he was invading on an oddly personal moment.

"She'll be fine," He whispered, quiet enough for only Lupin to hear. "I promise."

# # #

The disillusionment charm did not last long but it had given him enough time to escape from the Department of Mysteries to the Atrium- he held back his desire to run at Harry and seize him as he lay shaking on the ground as the startled Minister for Magic stood watching helplessly- and having managed to successfully dodge the crowds, he made his way to the Floo network and sneaked out without anyone noticing; he never thought that he would be glad of the distraction offered by Voldemort but thankfully they were far too preoccupied and no one saw the flames in the Floo blaze suddenly green.

Once back within the safe confines of Grimmauld Place he could think clearly. He was in the oddly unique position of knowing everything that would happen- he knew the Ministry would soon be overthrown, he knew Harry would defeat Voldemort, and he knew every death that would soon happen.

What could he do? How could he stop it?

He was chock full of knowledge that could save so much heartache but he didn't know how to act on it- because he could not, of course, do too much damage. Everything must end as it was required to end and Voldemort must die. If, for once in this war, he could be of some help, then he must not be reckless and foolish and he must not interfere.

But he would be of help- he _must_ be of help. He had gotten to know the future, and there was only one thing he could do equipped with the knowledge he had; he knew what happened to them. If he could only ensure that the final battle at Hogwarts occurred then he could save as many casualties there as he could. He would sit it out until the final battle came, and when it did, he would fight in the battle like a soldier, and he could save them all. He'd throw away both his knees, his arms, even his heart, if he needed to. He would save them.

# # #

Whilst he was filled with the worry that the tiniest change could upset a whole timeline, keeping his survival a secret proved a difficult feat regarding the members of the Order. Questions were raised as to why the ownership of Grimmauld Place had not changed following Sirius's supposed death and when Dumbledore called by a few days later, Sirius was forced to admit the truth regarding his renewed existence.

"A time-turner?" Dumbledore had asked, amazed.

There was a sudden knot in Sirius's stomach when he looked at Dumbledore and thought of the man falling from the top of the astronomy tower, as Harry had told him. "I know everything that happens," he began, but Dumbledore held up a hand to silence him.

"You must keep that information to yourself. The consequences of our actions are so complicated, so diverse, that you cannot guarantee you will not change the course of the future if you interfere."

So the Order- including, against Sirius's wishes, Snape- were the only people to know about Sirius's secret existence. As for the Death Eaters, Sirius Black had fallen through the veil, and as the ones who had been in the Ministry that night had been stunned and bound, they did not see him return. Dumbledore alone was privy to Sirius's secret foray into the future, but as far as anyone else was concerned, Sirius had merely fallen through and stepped back moments later. And that's how it would stay- at least, for now.

# # #

The days passed by and Sirius counted them down with the grim knowledge of what was to come. He watched as Dumbledore was reinstated as Hogwarts Headmaster, as Fudge was removed from the Minister position and Scrimgeour appointed, and as the Wizarding World finally accepted the return of Lord Voldemort. Tonks delivered him The Daily Prophet whenever her schedule would allow- as she was stationed outside Hogwarts, her visits coincided with her lunchbreaks or evenings off when she was free to apparate back to Grimmauld Place- and he sat in the kitchen reading the propaganda he knew to be false, monitoring the slow downfall of the Ministry, and completing the paper's crosswords.

He watched Tonks sink into a depression as Lupin risked his life underground with the werewolves, and as she sat at his kitchen table and he offered her his sympathy he wanted more than ever to tell her about the future, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't help himself speaking in aloof riddles, which she attributed to the madness of Azkaban and it made her laugh, so for that he felt a little less useless.

He continued to write to Harry over the school term but made sure that he did not reveal too much of the Order's activities in his letters, instead asking about lessons and apparition training and Hogsmeade visits; dull queries that were the much needed calm to Harry's storm. He pacified Harry's concerns about Draco Malfoy with easy reassurances, and when the fateful letter arrived reporting of Dumbledore's death- which Sirius had been awaiting with unease- he did his utmost to console Harry. Sirius had wondered whether to foreworn Dumbledore but as Harry- _his_ Harry, from the future- had informed him, Dumbledore had seen his death as part of some great plan and so Sirius could not intervene.

As the next summer rolled along and Harry's seventeenth birthday arrived, he did not interfere when Molly Weasley demanded that Sirius take more interest in Harry's secret mission.

"He's of age now, Molly!" He had argued.

"But he's still your godson," she had shot back.

But he ignored her, and he did not stop Harry because he knew that Harry must go on his mission, and he must be successful. It had been hard to see Harry, seventeen-year old Harry, frightened and ill-prepared and with far too much responsibility, but he had to let it happen. After all, Harry would be alright.

# # #

With Dumbledore and Mad-Eye dead, Harry soon to be on the run, Lupin and Tonks safe together and Molly Weasley driving him up the wall, the remainder of the summer looked set to be a quiet one. He had been advised not to attend the Weasley wedding but he knew its outcome, so it was of little surprise to him when Harry, Ron and Hermione arrived at Grimmauld Place in the early hours of the morning following the wedding, nor was it a surprise when they informed him that the Ministry had fallen and that Death Eaters had crashed the party.

He did not ask questions or get involved, but left the three to their own devices planning a secret mission they didn't realise he knew all about. His plan was to sit alone in Grimmauld Place, drowning his sorrows in firewhisky and with the eerie silence broken only by Kreacher's grumbled insults, waiting and counting down for the war he knew would happen.

# # #

As Sirius was privy to the knowledge of when the final battle would be, he was able to arrange his schedule around it. The night before, he finally broke his self-imposed house arrest- the world was going to fall tomorrow, people had worse things to worry about than catching a fugitive- and visited the town where he knew Andromeda lived, casting anti-apparition charms around the whole village.

He loped silently down the dark streets, thankful for the absence of streetlights, and turned off into the secluded lane. The protective enchantments surrounding the house were Lupin's own, and Sirius could undo them as easily as if he had placed them himself; no one knew Lupin quite as well as he did. He walked along the stone path leading to the front door, and as his firm knock on the door echoed against the wood, the voices that floated from inside stilled, and the house was enveloped by a ghostly silence.

It was broken only by a baby's cry.

Sirius couldn't help but smile to himself; the fifteen year old Teddy he knew in the future had an inability to keep his mouth shut, too. He knocked again on the door, quicker this time, eager to be let in.

There was a clicking of locks and sliding of chains, along with tapping that Sirius knew was coming from a wand against the wood. The door pulled forward slightly, and a beam of light spilled out onto the top step. Lupin's face appeared between the gap.

"What did you say to me," he breathed, so low that Sirius had to strain to hear. "In the Department of Mysteries, after I had disillusioned you?"

Sirius smiled, his mouth pulling into his familiar, lopsided grin. "She'll be fine, I promise."

Lupin nodded tightly and pulled the door open further to let him through. Sirius stepped over the threshold, still smiling. "Well, I'm surprised." He said, walking further into the hallway as Lupin shut the door again and replaced the charms and enchantments. "The way my security questions have been going when you visit Grimmauld Place, I felt sure you were going to bring up the incident in the girls bathroom during fourth year, and I was going to have to shamefully admit that-"

Lupin stopped him before he could finish. "-that'll do, Sirius. I know it's you. You don't have to prove to me that you know my favourite flavour of jam,"

"Blackberry," Sirius interrupted.

"Or my dearest ambition,"

"To display Dolores Umbridge's severed head on your wall,"

"Or that you remember what happened in the girls bathroom when we were fourteen."

A gentle tutting came from behind Sirius's back. "It's stories like this that start rumours," the voice teased. He turned to greet Tonks, whose hair was vibrant pink and whose smile was bright enough to light the night sky, but he couldn't drag his eyes away from the bundle of blankets lying in her arms.

"Hi, Teddy." He whispered to the blankets, and the sleepy face blinked back.

Lupin clapped a hand on Sirius's shoulder. "I'm glad you're here," he said. "We've got a favour to ask."

"Whatever it is, you know the answer." Sirius replied.

Lupin grinned. " _'Yes, absolutely, unless there's a chance I'll get caught'."_ He recited, rolling his eyes. "But you and James always got caught, that was the problem."

"Oh, Moony, you know me too well."

"Of course I do, I spent seven years sharing a room with you."

"Which is why," Tonks interrupted, elbowing Lupin carefully in the side. "We wanted to ask-" She glared meaningfully at Lupin.

"You'll be Godfather?" He said, a strange dazed look in his eye.

Sirius felt overwhelmed, astonished, delighted; but this was not his title to take. "Godfather? That's Harry." He stuttered.

"What?" Lupin shook his head. "No, we'd like you to be Teddy's Godfather. We- Dora and I- we think there's no one better!"

"There's no one else, more like." Sirius pointed out. "Look, you should pick Harry, he'll be a better Godfather. Honestly, Remus, I've not been much of a Godfather to Harry, I won't be much of a Godfather to Teddy, either."

"But we want it to be you." Replied Lupin, sounding crestfallen. "You're my best friend, Sirius, you're all that's left."

Sirius could not look at Lupin. "Can I hold him then?" He asked instead, nodding at the baby in Tonks's arms. Very carefully, Tonks passed him over, and Sirius held the bundle tightly as Teddy wiggled, trying to make himself comfortable in the stranger's arms.

Lupin disappeared into the living room in search of Firewisky and Tonks followed, offering to collect the glasses, leaving Sirius standing alone in the hallway cradling the tiny baby. The baby stared back with wide eyes and as Sirius looked at him, he thought of the Teddy Lupin he had met in the future, the fifteen year old who had been so much like his friends and who had dragged Sirius from his despair. He knew what the future held for the baby lying in his arms, knew that he'd be an orphan after tomorrow if Sirius didn't stop it. Teddy had saved him in the future, he deserved better. He owed Teddy so much, and Sirius was going to give him his world back.

* * *

 _This is a two-parter so chapter two will go up on friday! (when I've finished it haha)_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

 _"A short life and a merry one, my buck!_

 _We used to say we'd hate to live dead-old,–_

 _Yet now… I'd willingly be puffy, bald,_

 _And patriotic."_

 _Wilfred Owen, A Terre (being the philosophy of many soldiers)_

# # #

Sirius had spent his days blasting inanimate objects in the Grimmauld Place drawing room and brushing up on his duelling skills, and as such his reactions were precise, calculated, and razor-sharp. It was with an energetic intensity that he fought, firing hexes and curses in an unending stream. All around him the battle raged and the sounds of the apocalypse thundered; the curses, the destruction, were like the pounding rumble of the horse's hooves as they carried the horsemen closer. The chanting curses were recited like a liturgy, like obsessive prayers of survival. Hogwarts was on fire; the world was about to fall.

But Sirius- the Lamb of God- thought not of the damage and the destruction and the death as he trudged closer, with only the victory outweighing the grief of the sacrifice.

When suddenly, he caught sight of the flaw in his plan, battling furiously with Antonin Dolohov. Sirius pushed between duelling pairs until he rushed forward and rammed Dolohov with his shoulder; Dolohov was caught off guard and overbalanced, toppling onto the floor. Sirius seized Lupin and dragged him back.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius cried, pulling Lupin with him as he jostled through the duellers.

Lupin looked furious, and Sirius saw a shadow of the wolf flicker across his human face. "Why didn't you tell me? Why were there anti-apparition limits all around the village? I had to run miles out just so I could apparate here!"

Sirius shoved Lupin violently behind a pillar and narrowly avoided a curse as it shot past his ear. He fired one back over his shoulder. "I don't want you here!"

"I can help!" They were screaming at each other but their words were lost within the cries of the fighters.

"I was saving the day!"

"Don't be a hero, Sirius," Lupin warned him.

Sirius scoffed. "Go home!" It was not a request, it was an order.

"You need someone to watch your back!" Lupin looked like he was struggling for the right words. "Sirius, don't be a fool! You'll sacrifice yourself? That's the end, you know. You can't break out of that one."

"It's only the end if the story's about me." Sirius's eyes glinted eerily and it made Lupin's skin crawl.

"What are you on about?"

Sirius took a deep breath to calm himself, and swiftly dodged a flying curse. He pulled Lupin into a gap in the brick wall of the crumbling castle; they would be shielded- for a moment, at least. "Remus, please." He said imploringly. "I've been to the future. It's wonderful, and I want you to see it."

"You're delirious. You're going mad." Lupin tried to reason.

He shook his head fiercely. "Not this time."

"Sirius-"

Sirius seized Lupin's collar, and shook him. "Do you remember the veil? The one I fell through two years ago? It's a time turner, Remus!"

"A time-?" He blinked disbelievingly. "Sirius, what-"

"I've met Teddy. In the future. I met him when he was fifteen." Sirius knew he sounded delusional, but he needed Lupin to understand. "You're dead, Remus. You don't even see his first birthday. Hell, you never see his first smile. And it isn't the werewolf that kills you, it's this battle."

Lupin's face was set, firm. "He'll understand why I died-"

"Can't you hear yourself?" Sirius laughed scathingly. "I tell you, you're about to die, that you'll never get to see your son grow up, and you don't want to change that? Go, Remus, save yourself!"

"How do I know you're telling the truth? I'm supposed to believe you went to the future and you met my son?" Lupin deflected a curse suddenly before it had the chance to hit, and it veered off, shattering a nearby pillar.

Sirius growled, frustrated. "Do you want me to prove it? Do you want me to tell you the Quidditch results for the next fifteen years? Because I will Remus, only perhaps we could do it later when we're not quite as busy!" He swiftly fired a hex back at a Death Eater running past. "You have to believe me. Friends don't lie to each other. Please, trust me."

"James's trust got him killed."

"James put his trust into the wrong person."

Lupin studied his face carefully, and sighed, his chest heaving. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to go home. Please, Remus. I've risked everything to make sure you make it out of this battle alive. If you don't go, you'll never see your son again. Go." Sirius pressed gently. "Get out to the edge of the grounds, and you can apparate away."

"Alright." Lupin nodded, swallowing thickly. "Keep us informed. As soon as it's over, send a Patronus."

"Give Teddy a hug from me. He'll thank me for this one day." Said Sirius, laughing slightly, trying to ease the tension.

"You can give him your own hug. You know where we are. When it's over, bring Harry back with you." Lupin nodded tightly once again, turned his back on Sirius, and looked out across the courtyard. The gates to Hogsmeade were down at the bottom of the long field- a fast run and some quick charmwork would be all he needed to get there safely.

"Be good, Moony." Called Sirius suddenly, catching Remus's attention. The edges of his lip curled up into a sideways grin. "And if you can't be good, be careful."

Lupin turned his head to reply. "Stay safe, Padfoot."

Glinting eyes appeared within the crowd, fixated on the distracted Lupin. The polished wood of a wand caught the light as it was held aloft. Sirius heard the curse echo through the dark, standing out amongst the screams and pleas for help, making a direct path towards Lupin's turned head. It was his fault; Sirius had distracted Lupin, he had let his guard down, and now he was going to get hit by a deadly curse. The world seemed to stop; it felt like slow motion, in a movement that lasted a lifetime, as Sirius ran forward and pushed Lupin heavily to the ground. Lupin stumbled backwards, the anguish in his face unforgettable and haunting as he realised what had happened, and he watched helplessly. It was the last thing Sirius would ever see.

So long ago, he had felt happy to whatever fate befell him; he was prepared to accept whatever lay behind the veil- even, as he had suspected, if that had been his own death. He would have walked freely through and greeted death willingly, but now, he did not want to die. He wanted to be there when Tonks and Lupin and Teddy were reunited; he wanted to watch Teddy grow. He could think of nothing but the regret that he would never again get to see the smile of the boy who he had met in the future, the one who had reminded him of all his friends, and who had saved him from the depths of his despair. He could not embrace the prospect of dying when there was so much left to live for.

The streak of emerald green light whistled through the air and splintered his heart.

"Oh! Jesus Christ!" Sirius cried, falling like a marionette whose strings had been cut and toppling down onto Lupin. Whether the last thing to pass his lips was a vain curse or a final prayer, they would never know.

# # #

"You'll calm down this year?" Lupin asks over his newspaper. The blue-haired boy sitting across from him at the breakfast table stuffs his mouth full of croissants and waves a vague hand in response. Tonks is standing at the counter, cooking herself toast. The breakfast things still adorn the table, bowls and spoons lie abandoned, and a teapot stands proudly in the centre. Lupin folds his newspaper back up and sighs, world-weary, laying the paper on the table. He takes up his mug and leans an elbow on the table- poor table manners, he knows, and he can almost hear his old, aristocratic school-friend scolding him for it, _'no joints with dishes'_ , Sirius would tut. "Teddy?"

Teddy swallows, and shrugs. "I'll try."

"That's not good enough. You'll be a Prefect this year!"

"So?"

"So you need to start being sensible. Professor McGonagall obviously thinks you're responsible-"

"McGonagall obviously only picked me because I'm Remus Lupin's son."

"Teddy, that's not true."

"You're the werewolf poster boy."

"Ted! Listen to me. You're a Prefect so you better start acting like one. So I don't want to hear about you sneaking off and getting in trouble, or disguising yourself as an old man again to get served in The Three Broomsticks, or throwing punches at every Slytherin you meet."

Teddy stares back at his father with a look of affronted innocence that fools nobody. "It's not _every_ Slytherin," he tell him. "It's just Victor Diablo, and honestly, Dad, he's as thick as a cauldron bottom. Give him another braincell and it would die of loneliness."

Lupin smiles despite himself. "You can't say that, Ted."

"Why not? It's true."

"But it's not a good reason to punch someone." Tonks replies, as she steps around to take an empty seat at the table.

Teddy frowns. "Then what is a good reason?"

"There aren't any!"

"Oh, come off it. There must be one."

Lupin sighs again, rolling his eyes at his son, exasperated. "Look, just be good, Teddy."

The edges of Teddy's lip curls up into a strangely familiar sideways grin. "What if I can't be good?" He asks.

Lupin stumbles; he had almost forgotten that someone else had once uttered something similar to him before, and he is reminded of Sirius Black once again. He watches his son from across the table. Sometimes, Teddy makes him feel like he is back at school. He makes him feel like a marauder again.

It isn't unusual. Lupin and Tonks have taught Teddy impeccable manners, he holds himself with the same languid grace Sirius had always managed. Lupin has- rather unintentionally- sculpted his son into a replica of his friend. But he doesn't mind; he owes his life to Sirius, and in return, he has kept Sirius's spirit alive in the form of his son. Teddy's been told it before, _Sirius Black will never be dead as long as you're here._

Teddy's ferocious intensity is admirable; he throws himself into everything with such force that it makes it impossible to forget he is a Black. It isn't always for the best; Teddy can't tell when he's overstepped the line- and they hope his new role of Prefect will calm him down.

But secretly, Lupin doesn't want him to calm down. He doesn't want him to be sensible. He doesn't want Teddy to be the good boy. He wants Teddy to spend all his time in detentions, he wants Teddy to learn illegal hexes, he wants Teddy to break the rules. He wants Teddy to have so much heart and so much daring that he would tease the devil, dance with danger, and if the time ever came, he wants Teddy to have so much love and so much compassion that he would jump in front of a curse to save a friend.

Lupin wants Teddy to resemble his hero. He smiles at his son. He never stops smiling at his son. "If you can't be good," He finally replies, remembering the last thing Sirius ever said to him, "then be careful."

 **FIN.**

* * *

 _If you did read Past The Veil, how much do you recognise Sirius from that in Teddy here? So much that Teddy says/does is something Sirius does in Past The Veil!_


End file.
